Passenger - Let Her Go
This is so so relevant right now.
Ghosts -Laura Marling
It’s not like I believe in everlasting love.
I think once you’ve lived in several places, sometimes you have too much of everywhere else in your bones for any one place to feel like home.
For me, California isn’t fully home, and Washington isn’t fully home, and Iowa isn’t fully home. My friends and family are scattered across the globe and my heart along with them. Home has become the people I’ve held on to across the distance, the books, the albums, the emotions.
I’m so bad with change. I can’t get comfortable anywhere, because I’m always missing someone when I’m there. Nostalgia feels the most like home. I want so badly to be back in Washington, but I’m falling in love with California again and I’m so not ready to leave. I just want to be everywhere at once. I’m so tired of leaving people I love behind.
I’m incredibly grateful for the people I’ve met, the experiences I’ve had, the chances I’ve taken, and if I was given the chance to redo it, I’d probably do it all the same again. But I miss people. And I’m going to miss people. And it’s so hard to chose to be one place and not be everywhere else.
So I realize I’ve kind of been absent for awhile. I spent most of this summer in Washington State due to some family health emergencies and keeping up with the internet was virtually impossible. Despite the negative things that were happening, it was an amazing summer and so exactly what I needed in my life at that point. I was very broken when I went up there and Washington sort of put me back together again. I spent time in nature, made the best new friends, went on epic adventures, got to support my family, and wrapped my arms around and stayed up talking all night too many times with my closest of friends.
Since then, here’s some of what I’ve been up to:
- Riotfest in Chicago. Chicago is an amazing city and Riotfest was so perfect. Despite a lot of things going wrong that week, seeing that many amazing bands was so fulfilling.
- I reconnected with an old friend in Washington, who accidentally caused me to fall in love with swing dance. Since then I’ve been taking lessons in West Coast Swing, Salsa, and country 2-step all of which I adore and basically can’t get enough of.
- I had the most epic weekend EVER in Vegas at Sharkiecon with Blackmilk Clothing. Truly epic adventures and crazy fun times. All the sickness and exhaustion was definitely worth it.
- I got to see the Avett Brothers last week and as always they were perfect. Still swooning over just how wonderful they are.
- This Sunday I completed my first ever marathon. There are a lot of reasons I shouldn’t have run it, but I’m stubborn and did it anyway and I’m damn proud of myself. Once I get the official race pictures, I’ll post more on this crazy experience.
The Avett Brothers - Winter in My Heart
I’m seeing these guys tonight and I couldn’t be more excited. Far and away the best.
The Avett Brothers - I Never Knew You
We change a lot
And no one here can stop
That train before
It gets to where it’s going
So I guess it’s kind of funny how
I loved you so way back when
You say I wouldn’t know you now
Well I didn’t even know you then